It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Every day that I wake up in the greatest city on earth, I await a new adventure. Some days I truly realize what makes this city so great. You wake up and you can do whatever you want. You can go wherever you want to go with just a metrocard and good walking shoes. You want to get groceries, get pictures framed, and have your laundry done for you, just walk down the street. And, as you walk down the street, you see the "Sex and the City Movie" being filmed as if it was just another New York event. Literally, everything is at your fingertips... the city is seemingly "the land of opportunity."

And then, there are days like today. Days that you've planned for for days. You go to bed at 9:30 the night before because you are no longer going to be turned away at auditions for only getting their two hours early. You wake up while it is still dark outside and arrive to find yourself to be one of the first people in line to audition. FINALLY! You sit on the filthy ground outside of the building for almost two hours, excited that you are actually going to be seen fairly quickly. After an hour, the security guard, who resembles Shaft a bit too closely, asks you to get out your card or you will not be admitted. A small part of you prays that he means your license, he just calls it a card for some reason, but you know what he means. You watch everyone else pull out their equity cards and you just stand there while tears defiantly form in your eyes. Then, you realize that you should have realized that the name of the building you were waiting to enter is called "The Equity Building", you should have known. You walk back to the subway, wave at the cameras where Good Morning America is taping, and just keep thinking about how frustrating it is that you came to New York to perform and they won't even allow you in to the building to even try. As you get on the subway, you sit next to a small child freshly put into his stroller by his mother who watches him closely. You are constantly on the verge of tears, and the baby starts to cry, squirming and wanting to get out of his stroller. You just look at him and smile. As you smile, he stops crying, wipes his tears, and goes into a game of peek-a-boo with you. He covers his eyes and opens them just to make sure you are still looking at him and smiling. As the subway reaches your destination you suddenly realize, yet again, why this is the greatest city on earth. You and this child were able to stop each other from crying and brighten up each others days without even a word being spoken, all while you take the short ride back home.

New York, New York

Wel... this past week has been quite a journey, but I now sit on my couch in my Upper East Side apartment. I still can't believe that this is my home, something about this whole trip still feels like a vacation. When I was unloading my clothes to put them in the closet, the thought crossed my mind... "why am I unloading them... I'm just going to have to pack them up again..." but, no, not soon anyway. This whole week has been kind of a dream, looking at 15 apartments, only to have all but one of my favorite ones taken by an earlier applicant. Finally getting my dream apartment, building all the furniture, seemingly from scratch, though they are all from IKEA, and living in my room, all by myself. Judy left yesterday, though she has been on this journey with me from the start. So now, my new life begins. Just thinking about it I am getting teary-eyed and I feel a lump starting in my throat. To quite Sondheim (or Little Red Riding Hood, which ever you prefer), "I'm excited and scared..."

Well, last week I had my very first audition, and it was for something called Broadway Idol. It claims to be like American Idol, but with Broadway songs. I thought that this was perfect for me, and since I have actually auditioned for American Idol, I figured I had some small advantage. However, that experience worked against me. I know that when you audition for American Idol, you audition for them for the first time singing a capella. This ended up not being the case at Broadway Idol. I wanted to sing "Cabaret" since that is the song that I normally feel great about (and impress many people with at Karaoke bars), but when I got inside, the people running the audition asked us to get our sheet music ready. SHIT! I don't have sheet music to "Cabaret', but I do have my whole music notebook with me (I have it in case of emergencies... this would count as a musical theatre emergency). One of the girls in line saw that I was momentarily freaking out and told me that there was a music store right down the street. Well, down the street I ran, in the shoes that already gave me a blister that morning. I entered the music store, found one of the guys working there and asked him where I could find the single sheet music (not a full book). He showed me the song, I grabbed it, paid for it, and ran back. I got back in line (I was third, but no one saved my spot so I ended up being 12th after the quick journey) and looked at my sheet music to make the appropriate cut. As I glance through it, I notice that I this version is a full three steps higher than the original, causing me to have to belt an F at 10 o'clock in the morning. I was not about to risk sounding awful since I hadn't warmed up. I then picked the song from my notebook that I had done most recently... "What I Did for Love" it is. I hated that that was the song I chose since I knew that doing an uptempo would be the thing to help me stand out, and that song is anything but uptempo. I was called to come in, I set my bag of music in the back of the room and preceded to the stage. I sang my song and the three judges sitting at the tables were not impressed... the music director, however, asked me to do an uptempo... I KNEW IT! He was the accompanist and seemed to really like my voice and was saved from having to watch my messy performance full of nerves, anxiety, and craziness after running around Times Square. I sang an uptempo, "Johnny One Note" and couldn't quite calm my adrenaline rush and got no laughs at a song that usually gets the audience to at least giggle.

Well, a lesson is learned in every situation. I need to go into every audition already planning what I can do if something goes wrong with my initial choice. I have also learned that I need to be confident and "own the room" no matter what stress I just went through. The auditioners want to know that I am not a crazy loon, but a confident talented girl. I'll do better next time.

New York, Here I Come

So after a long, highly anticipated wait, I now have my tickets for New York. I will be flying out on Tuesday, September 4, 2007 and I pretty much can't wait. The anxiety has been killing me.

While trying to prepare for New York in as many ways as I can, I have learned a great deal. First of all, not that it is any different than before, I have been checking up on broadway.com every day and I have read some really inspiring interviews with some newcomers who have found great success. I am more inspired than ever before, but I am still curious beyond belief. I paid a lot of money and signed up for backstage.com to find out about auditions that I can plan for when I get there. I started off looking at non-equity listings, since I assumed that you can't audition for Broadway until you are equity. I looked for auditions that could potentially get me my equity card, but no Broadway. I found the most amazing audition for a "Big Band Era" musical. It basically said that they were looking for female singers from 28-45 (okay... so I'm a little young) who are tall (specifically 5'7-5'9) medium build (dress sizes 6-10) who had a brassy belt with a low range. With the exception of the age, I fit the description perfectly. As I began to put the audition into my planner (aka i-cal) I realized that the audition date had already passed, and I was pretty upset. I then decided to be the pushy New York Jew that my mother has raised me to be and I sent an e-mail to the casting company letting them know that I am perfect for their show, though I didn't hear about the audition until it was too late. I attached a headshot and resume and they didn't respond. I didn't really expect a response, but it does make me wonder if coming on so strong wasn't the best idea, but it can only help, not hurt.

There were also a few other auditions I found for non-equity performers, though, of course, all the gigs were paying jobs. One was for "Brooklyn- the Musical" (which I don't think I am right for but I am giving it a shot), another was for a touring company that would be doing a series of shows for children, including "Seussical- the Musical". Then, I found a link on backstage.com that says that you can e-mail them any questions about auditioning. So, I posed the question of whether or not I could audition for equity-only shows without being equity and I was shocked at how quickly and thoroughly they responded. Apparently, anyone can audition for anything, but equity people have more priveleges, obviously. They can arrive at anytime and audition at their scheduled time, but a non-union performer needs to wait in line from early in the morning until they can be seen. As the man who responded put it, "it could take one minute or several hours", but I can audition. So... I started looking up all the auditions. They are auditioning for the Broadway revival of "Sunday in the Park with George", and "South Pacific"... my resume helps me out on that one. They are also looking for a few replacements in "A Chorus Line" including Diana Morales, though the listing frightened me by putting, "looking for dancers to replace principal roles". Apparently they won't even hear my sing unless I get through a dance audition... good luck to me. They are also trying to cast the next national tour of "Wicked". Obviously I am not looking to star in a show, so I am auditioning for everything, even if I don't think I am right for a part. I am auditioning for everything I can find.

The audition I am looking most forward to, however (as sad as it may seem) is for something called Broadway Idol. Although it isn't a reality show that is broadcast on television, it is based on American Idol. The auditions are on September 8 (only 4 days after I get there, but I am tough), and it is hosted and run by Seth Rudetsky, the love of my life. The judges that they had last year were amazing: Chip Zien, Marin Mazzie, Stephen Schwartz, Marc Shaiman, the cast of "[title of show]", one of my new favorite shows. I am truly more excited about meeting the judges than I am about actually seeing how well I do, but I am anxious none-the-less.

Well, I have only 5 more days to wait until my new life begins.

The Train to Fullerton

So... my journey begins. I have always believed that in life everything happens for a reason, every strange or horrible event in my life is meant to teach me something or prepare me for something in life...
On Wednesday, August 8, 2007, I boarded the AMTRAK to spend my last day in California with my best friends in Fullerton. The train ride was about 2 and a half hours long, and we stopped in Los Angeles after about an hour and a half. I was sitting in the "sleeper train" so that I could be in a quiet area with a reclining seat. Everything was working out beautifully, the time was flying by. After we were stopped for a few minutes I start to hear the sound that gives me goosebumps... because I am (for one reason or another) terrified of dogs, the sound of dog chains terrifies me beyond belief. So there I am, sitting there peacefully and I suddenly hear the "clang, cling, cling" of dog chains. As the sound gets louder I also start to hear a woman's voice saying "son of a bitch, son of a bitch..." over and over again. This woman and her dog start working their way down the aisle of the train and of course my heart begins to pound... this woman is clearly crazy. Because of my past experiences in New York I knew to just keep doing what I was doing and not make eye contact. I kept my eyes down on the magazine and made sure that I didn't appear any different. The woman goes to the next car and then comes back to my car right to the front row where I am sitting. She looks at the woman on the other side of the aisle and yells, "Excuse me ma'am, are you handicapped?" The woman sitting down is doing exactly what I am doing, just looking down and reading her book. The crazy woman repeats her question two more times and then yells, "HABLA INGLES?" To this, the woman sitting in the front row replies, "Oh, were you talking to me? Yes, I speak English and no I am not handicapped." Mind you, these were not handicapped seats and there is open seating on the AMTRAK. The crazy lady then asks this other woman to get up, which she does, and this crazy lady sits her dog in the seat. She then preceeds to tell her dog not to move and leaves him on the chair. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that this woman was acting blind in order to get her dog onboard... she wasn't blind and was apparently doing such a poor acting job that I actually had to think about it for a while before I realized what she was doing. Anyway, I am sitting in my seat, two feet away from this dog trying not to be terrified since I have been told that dogs can "smell fear". The woman returns after a few moments and I realize how desperately I want to change my seat. I don't want to get the woman's attention so I wait a few minutes and then, trying to be discreet, I get up and change to a different seat in the next car. As I am walking, the woman who was "kicked out " of her seat asks me if I was also kicked out... she started laughting hysterically and I explained that I just couldn't sit there. She obviously understood why. Anyway, I changed my seat and continued my ride on the train peacefully. This whole experience, however, just seemed like my life was preparing me for my subway rides in New York. I might still get terrified, but I ultimately know how to deal with it (I hope).
I now sit in Pensacola, Florida, where the sun is beaming down (I will be going to New York looking like a black woman) and the ocean crashes only yards away from my room. And yet, I can't wait to start my new life in New York surrounded by America's craziest of people.