It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Every day that I wake up in the greatest city on earth, I await a new adventure. Some days I truly realize what makes this city so great. You wake up and you can do whatever you want. You can go wherever you want to go with just a metrocard and good walking shoes. You want to get groceries, get pictures framed, and have your laundry done for you, just walk down the street. And, as you walk down the street, you see the "Sex and the City Movie" being filmed as if it was just another New York event. Literally, everything is at your fingertips... the city is seemingly "the land of opportunity."

And then, there are days like today. Days that you've planned for for days. You go to bed at 9:30 the night before because you are no longer going to be turned away at auditions for only getting their two hours early. You wake up while it is still dark outside and arrive to find yourself to be one of the first people in line to audition. FINALLY! You sit on the filthy ground outside of the building for almost two hours, excited that you are actually going to be seen fairly quickly. After an hour, the security guard, who resembles Shaft a bit too closely, asks you to get out your card or you will not be admitted. A small part of you prays that he means your license, he just calls it a card for some reason, but you know what he means. You watch everyone else pull out their equity cards and you just stand there while tears defiantly form in your eyes. Then, you realize that you should have realized that the name of the building you were waiting to enter is called "The Equity Building", you should have known. You walk back to the subway, wave at the cameras where Good Morning America is taping, and just keep thinking about how frustrating it is that you came to New York to perform and they won't even allow you in to the building to even try. As you get on the subway, you sit next to a small child freshly put into his stroller by his mother who watches him closely. You are constantly on the verge of tears, and the baby starts to cry, squirming and wanting to get out of his stroller. You just look at him and smile. As you smile, he stops crying, wipes his tears, and goes into a game of peek-a-boo with you. He covers his eyes and opens them just to make sure you are still looking at him and smiling. As the subway reaches your destination you suddenly realize, yet again, why this is the greatest city on earth. You and this child were able to stop each other from crying and brighten up each others days without even a word being spoken, all while you take the short ride back home.

New York, New York

Wel... this past week has been quite a journey, but I now sit on my couch in my Upper East Side apartment. I still can't believe that this is my home, something about this whole trip still feels like a vacation. When I was unloading my clothes to put them in the closet, the thought crossed my mind... "why am I unloading them... I'm just going to have to pack them up again..." but, no, not soon anyway. This whole week has been kind of a dream, looking at 15 apartments, only to have all but one of my favorite ones taken by an earlier applicant. Finally getting my dream apartment, building all the furniture, seemingly from scratch, though they are all from IKEA, and living in my room, all by myself. Judy left yesterday, though she has been on this journey with me from the start. So now, my new life begins. Just thinking about it I am getting teary-eyed and I feel a lump starting in my throat. To quite Sondheim (or Little Red Riding Hood, which ever you prefer), "I'm excited and scared..."

Well, last week I had my very first audition, and it was for something called Broadway Idol. It claims to be like American Idol, but with Broadway songs. I thought that this was perfect for me, and since I have actually auditioned for American Idol, I figured I had some small advantage. However, that experience worked against me. I know that when you audition for American Idol, you audition for them for the first time singing a capella. This ended up not being the case at Broadway Idol. I wanted to sing "Cabaret" since that is the song that I normally feel great about (and impress many people with at Karaoke bars), but when I got inside, the people running the audition asked us to get our sheet music ready. SHIT! I don't have sheet music to "Cabaret', but I do have my whole music notebook with me (I have it in case of emergencies... this would count as a musical theatre emergency). One of the girls in line saw that I was momentarily freaking out and told me that there was a music store right down the street. Well, down the street I ran, in the shoes that already gave me a blister that morning. I entered the music store, found one of the guys working there and asked him where I could find the single sheet music (not a full book). He showed me the song, I grabbed it, paid for it, and ran back. I got back in line (I was third, but no one saved my spot so I ended up being 12th after the quick journey) and looked at my sheet music to make the appropriate cut. As I glance through it, I notice that I this version is a full three steps higher than the original, causing me to have to belt an F at 10 o'clock in the morning. I was not about to risk sounding awful since I hadn't warmed up. I then picked the song from my notebook that I had done most recently... "What I Did for Love" it is. I hated that that was the song I chose since I knew that doing an uptempo would be the thing to help me stand out, and that song is anything but uptempo. I was called to come in, I set my bag of music in the back of the room and preceded to the stage. I sang my song and the three judges sitting at the tables were not impressed... the music director, however, asked me to do an uptempo... I KNEW IT! He was the accompanist and seemed to really like my voice and was saved from having to watch my messy performance full of nerves, anxiety, and craziness after running around Times Square. I sang an uptempo, "Johnny One Note" and couldn't quite calm my adrenaline rush and got no laughs at a song that usually gets the audience to at least giggle.

Well, a lesson is learned in every situation. I need to go into every audition already planning what I can do if something goes wrong with my initial choice. I have also learned that I need to be confident and "own the room" no matter what stress I just went through. The auditioners want to know that I am not a crazy loon, but a confident talented girl. I'll do better next time.